Charlotte Observer, The (NC)
1995-04-22
Section: METRO
Edition: ONE - FOUR
Page: 1D

WIDOWER'S GRAVESIDE TOKENS STOLEN

   DEBORAH PARKHILL MULLIS, Staff Writer

It's a 2-mile trip from Robert Deaton's house to the cemetery where his wife of 47 years, Eleanor McKnight Deaton, was buried last year.

Deaton, 68, visits Eleanor's grave two times every day - once in the morning and once in the afternoon. He often brings tokens of his affection. They often disappear. 

The first thing to vanish was a white ceramic angel, about 6 inches tall. The angel was placed on Eleanor's grave a few days after her Oct. 7 burial at Sharon Memorial Park in Charlotte. By the month's end it was gone.

``I thought maybe some kids took it,'' said Deaton.

So he bought a 10-inch gold angel to take its place. The gold one was weatherproof and attached to a stake. ``I paid $19 for it and it didn't last two days,'' said Deaton, who began bringing fresh flowers to his wife's grave instead.

Diane Kiker, general manager of Sharon Memorial Park on Monroe Road, said theft is ``normally not a problem'' there.

Not a problem, maybe, but police do have logs of complaints of property damage and thefts at Sharon Memorial Park and other Charlotte cemeteries. Police records show two burglaries and six larcenies - three for over $200 - reported at Sharon Memorial Park since 1992. That doesn't include Deaton's thefts; he didn't report them to police.

``You're going to have isolated cases,'' said Kiker, who admitted that ``even if one flower is missing, yes, that's a tragedy.''

Deaton, a retired salesman for Sunbeam bread, was a devoted spouse. He stood by his wife through 30 years of Crohn's Disease, an intestinal disorder, and five years of cancer.

``I still have feelings,'' he said. ``The feelings don't just end.''

He wanted to do something special for Valentine's Day. He made a swinging flowerpot and stand out of wrought iron and spray-painted them gold.

On a misty Valentine's Day morning, Deaton drove the stand more than a foot into the dirt at Sharon Memorial Park. ``I tried to pull it up myself and couldn't,'' he said. He placed five roses in the flowerpot and tied a red velvet heart with the words ``I love you'' on the stand.

His heartfelt memorial vanished just like the angels in two weeks' time. ``It's someone who has no respect,'' he said.

Deaton reported the thefts to the memorial park. He said he thinks they should put a fence around the cemetery.

It's sad people will take things from a cemetery, said Kiker, ``but if we put up a chain-link fence with barbed wire on top, I don't think the families would appreciate it.''

Kiker speculated that Eleanor Deaton's grave may be more vulnerable to thefts because it is close to the road - about 30 to 40 feet away from north Sharon Amity.

Deaton said he's not the only one having problems. In December a woman taped a note to a marker near Eleanor's, which read: ``Please do not remove this Christmas tree from this grave.''

``I don't have enough money to offer a reward,'' said Deaton. ``I could replace the angels but not this stand that I made especially for her . . . if they could just bring it back I would appreciate it.'' 

Staff photo by GARY O'BRIEN: Grief sharpened: Robert Deaton, still mourning the loss of his wife last October to lung cancer, is hurting again because of the theft of items from her grave in Sharon Memorial Park at Monroe and Sharon Amity Roads.